Okay, maybe I will offer up a little giftie . . . here are a couple links to some great lists of terms for male and female masturbation. A lot of these I'd never heard, and some are really stupid, but it also makes for a great read. Heh heh, "bleed the weed."
Also, all of this started with an unofficial "weirdest/most inappropriate place" contest, and I'm not sure which of us won (what do you say guys?), but if you think you can defeat us come and have a go!
Go wank young soldiers!